This year I turned 37, and I can honestly say I feel like the happiest, most fulfilled, and successful version of myself. To celebrate, I’m sharing 37 lessons, insights, tools, and mindset shifts I’ve gathered over the years that have gotten me here.

If you'd told me years ago that I'd be living a life that felt this grounded, this joyful, and this connected, I wouldn’t have believed you. For most of my teenage and early adult life, I was over-functioning, overthinking, and just doing what I believed I needed to do to achieve the life that would provide happiness. On the outside, I had my act together and was there. But on the inside, something was missing.

What I’m about to share with you isn’t theory. It’s lived experience. These are the 37 lessons that have changed how I live, love, and lead. They came through trial, reflection, growth, and eventually, research and science that helped me make sense of it all.

If something here resonates, I hope you walk away with a little clarity, a lot of permission, and maybe one powerful shift you’ll take with you.

1. Sleep is sacred. For years I treated sleep like an optional extra. But everything, your mood, focus, willpower, even your immune system is affected by it. Once I started prioritizing sleep, my resilience skyrocketed.

💡Did you know? Sleep deprivation affects the prefrontal cortex, reducing your ability to regulate emotions and make decisions, which is why everything feels harder after a bad night’s sleep.

2. Meditation is strength training for your mind. At first, my brain screamed through every silent moment. I thought I was doing it wrong. But over time, I learned that meditation isn’t about stopping thoughts. It’s about not believing every single one of them. I later discovered that regular meditation increases grey matter in the brain. Grey matter is responsible for processing information in areas related to memory, attention, emotional regulation, and self-awareness. More of it means better mental performance and less stress reactivity. Pretty incredible, right?

3. Learn to get back on the horse. Life throws curveballs. Sometimes I skip my routine. Sometimes the kids are up all night. But I don’t beat myself up anymore. Progress isn’t about perfection. It’s about returning to yourself, again and again. Grace over guilt, every time.

4. Inner dialogue matters more than we realize. Your self-talk shapes your reality. I used to believe everything my mind said. But your brain has thousands of thoughts a day, and most of them are recycled. Once I learned to notice and reframe negative thoughts, I realized how important internal dialogue is when it comes to our trajectory. Your thoughts create your feelings, your feelings create your actions.

5. Your inner circle matters. You are the sum of the people you spend time with. Research backs this up. Emotions, habits, even beliefs are contagious. I stopped giving so much access to people who drained me and invested in relationships that nurtured and celebrated my successes.

6. Imagination is a tool, not a toy. Visualization isn’t just fluff. Studies show that imagining success can stimulate the same brain patterns as actually doing the thing. When I imagined how I wanted to feel, I found I was more likely to take actions aligned with that state.

7. Understand who you are, not who you were told to be. There is freedom in realizing that maybe you're not disorganized—maybe you're just not wired for rigid structure. Maybe you're not lazy—maybe you're uninspired. Learning about my natural patterns helped me stop trying to fit into boxes and instead create a life that fits me.

8. Acceptance is power. You can’t change from a place of shame. When I accepted who I was—my quirks, my wounds, my wins—I created space for real growth. Acceptance isn’t resignation. It’s readiness.

9. Release what no longer serves you. I used to grip so tightly to ideas, relationships, habits without really realizing it. But growth meant learning to let go and not seeing it as "I failed". You can’t receive what’s next while clutching what’s expired.

10. Learn the lesson. Failure only feels final when you miss the message. Every struggle has a takeaway. I started asking: What is this here to teach me?

11. Ownership is liberation. It’s not about blaming yourself. It’s about empowering yourself. I stopped outsourcing my peace. I owned my part, my patterns, and most importantly, my ability to choose differently.

12. Know your values. When you know what you stand for, you stop bending in the wind of other people’s opinions. I got clear on what matters to me, and my decisions became easier.

13. Know what you want. Clarity creates direction. When you’re vague about what you want, you live in circles. When I started naming what I truly wanted, I could finally move toward it.

14. Gratitude expands what you have. I used to think gratitude meant being happy for what you had and I felt torn when I tried to dream about what I wanted for my future...like I couldn't do that while also being grateful. Now I know it means anchoring. You can be thankful and still want more. That’s not ingratitude, that’s vision. But this practice allows us to enjoy what we've built and continue to stay focused in our present gifts while reaching for an even more abundant future.

15. Lack mindset limits you. I used to operate from scarcity, afraid there wouldn’t be enough. But abundance is real. There’s enough love, success, money, opportunity for all of us and truly believing that has been liberating. Neuroscience shows that abundant thinking enhances creativity and problem-solving.

16. Your body is a tool for transformation. I learned that emotions get stored in the body. This was a new concept to me, and unknowingly, my mind and body had become quite disconnected. Reconnecting with my body and learning how to use it to release stored emotions left me feeling lighter, freer and clearer.

17. Music heals, Pain is fuel. During an intense home workout I started crying... The lyrics in the music I was listening to echoed how alone I’d felt for many years and brought up a strong desire to do something so that others never feel that way. That pain showed me one of my deepest values—community—and I’ve been building it ever since.

18. The power of music, movement and language together. When I combined music that spoke to me, empowering self-talk, and physical movement, it was like I had found the ultimate tool for energizing and shifting my mood. Try it. It's one of the most powerful state-changers you can access for free.

19. Understand your needs. We all have six core needs: certainty, variety, significance, love & connection, growth, and contribution. I started asking: what do I really need? How am I meeting my needs and can I meet that need in a better way? One that's good for me, those around me and for the greater good.

20. Pause. In our society, everything is fast-paced. We jam-pack everything in and can barely finish our sentence without someone cutting us off and interrupting our train of thought. Now, more than ever, moments in between become so crucial. When we don't pause and are constantly stuck in go, it sends messages that if we slow down or pause we aren't safe. It's important to take a step back, pause and remember that you’re on a spinning rock in space. Pauses and perspective can bring peace.

21. You can rewire your brain. The more I practiced new patterns like, calming myself down, challenging a negative thought, choosing to move forward instead of spiraling...the more natural they became. Neuroplasticity is real. Your brain is capable of change at any age, and you get to shape it every single day.

22. You can’t heal what you don’t acknowledge. I never took the time to understand why some things bothered me or caused a reaction, while other things didn't phase me at all. But healing began when I got honest with myself about how I felt and what I had carried for far too long. What we resist persists. I just didn't realize I had been resisting. What we face, we can free.

23. Journaling brings clarity. There’s something powerful about putting pen to paper. I was walking around with half-formed stories and ones that were completely untrue or not my own. Journaling helped me process, understand, and move forward.

24. You have to learn to trust yourself. This one took time. I had outsourced decisions and ignored intuition for years. But little by little, I learned to listen to myself, honour my gut, and let it guide me. Self-trust is built in action, not in theory.

25. Discomfort is a teacher. I started small—posting an imperfect video, starting cold plunges, speaking in front of others—and learned that I could do things I didn’t want to do for long-term gain. Growth lives on the other side of discomfort, and courage expands every time you show up.

26. Purpose dissolves fear. When I remember why I do what I do, fear shrinks. It’s not about me. It’s about service, impact, and helping even one person feel less alone and happier in their everyday life. When purpose leads, ego quiets.

27. Goals belong in every part of life. I was taught to set career goals, but not much else. Now I have goals for how I want to show up in my marriage, my parenting, my health, my business and I'm clear on how I want to feel in these areas. Life is richer when you know what you want and where you want to go. When you add goals to every area of your life, you have a clearer picture of who you are and what you need to do.

28. Clarity brings presence. When you know your values and your goals, it becomes easier to say no. To focus. To be in the moment instead of wondering what else you should be doing. When I’m with you, I’m really with you and that brings more connection, more joy, more understanding.

29. Intentions shape your day. I learned a practice called “segment intending,” where I break my day into chunks and set a simple intention for each one. I’m not on autopilot. I get to decide who I want to be in each moment. I have found this practice to help me act in alignment with my goals and values. It's like an anchor allowing me to show up in every area as the person I want to be.

30. Mistakes mean you're trying. I used to hold myself to impossible standards. But making mistakes is human and part of learning. It is literally how we learn what makes us successful. What works and what doesn't. So I frame it as putting on my scientist hat and get curious. Instead of shaming myself, I ask: what did I learn? What can I do better?

31. What you focus on grows. If I look for stress, I’ll find it. If I look for beauty, I’ll see that too. Focus is a choice. And the lens I choose determines the experience I live.

32. Self-acceptance is the foundation. I spent years trying to be better before I could like myself. But when I started accepting my flaws and strengths as they are, my whole life softened. Self-compassion is a catalyst, not a crutch.

33. Laughter is medicine. I didn’t grow up in a lighthearted environment, and it took time to learn how to laugh at myself. But now I find humour everywhere. Joy is serious business, and we all need more of it.

34. Kindness always counts. Hold the door. Say the nice thing. Smile at the stranger. These little acts ripple in ways we can’t always see. Kindness is a quiet superpower.

35. Belief is fuel. Believing in yourself is something that seems obvious, but for so many of us there is so many subconscious beliefs, unhelpful stories that whether we know it or not, block us from truly believing in our potential and what we can achieve. You can do more than you think. The gap between who you are and who you want to be is often just belief and consistent action.

36. Consistency compounds. You don’t have to do it perfectly. You just have to keep coming back. Life will throw you off track. But consistency is simply choosing to return.

37. Love is everything. When I tune into my heart, I feel stronger, more grounded, more whole. Love for myself, for others, for the present moment. It’s all connected. And it’s always available when I remember to look.

If you’ve made it here, thank you for spending your time with me. Every lesson on this list was learned the long way, often through trial, sometimes through tears, but always through growth. I don’t share these because I’ve mastered them. I share them because I live them. And because maybe something here will be the exact reminder you didn’t know you needed today.

This is your permission to try something different and to awknowledge your own growth. To shift. To trust your timing. And to believe, without a doubt, that you’re allowed to create a life that feels good in every. single. area.

With so much love,

Kirstin xx