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Why Success Doesn't Always Equal Fulfillment...and How To Find It

Writer's picture: Kirstin TurnerKirstin Turner

Have you ever felt like you’re working so hard, ticking off goal after goal, but something still feels...off? Like no matter how much you achieve, the sense of fulfillment you thought would come never really does?


It’s a frustrating and often confusing experience. In a survey by the American Psychological Association, 60% of individuals report feeling “stuck” in their lives despite having achieved significant milestones, highlighting the disconnect between success and true fulfillment.

But this disconnect usually isn’t about your effort or ability. It’s about clarity, getting clear on what really drives you and making sure the goals you’re chasing actually match what lights you up inside.


Let’s explore why this happens and how it can impact your life.


Are Your Goals Really Yours?


Getting clear on what you really want means understanding your own thoughts, emotions, desires, needs and values. It’s the foundation for making decisions that feel aligned and pursuing goals that truly fulfill you.


When this clarity is missing, you might find yourself:

  • Pursuing goals that don’t align with what you actually value.

  • Feeling stuck in a cycle of achievements that don’t bring joy.

  • Prioritizing external validation over internal satisfaction.

  • Constantly questioning why you don’t feel "happy" despite having “everything."


Without this clarity, it’s easy to follow a script someone else wrote for your life—whether that’s societal expectations, family pressures, or even old versions of yourself that no longer resonate. According to the Harvard Business Review, over 50% of high achievers report feeling “disconnected” from their work after achieving professional success, citing lack of purpose as the main reason.



The Real-Life Impact of Misaligned Goals


It’s not just exhaustion or feeling stuck, it’s also the anxiety of constantly questioning if you’re doing the ‘right’ thing. That nagging feeling that despite ticking every box, something is just... off. This kind of emotional strain can take a toll on your mental health, relationships, and overall well-being.


A lack of clarity doesn’t just feel uncomfortable; it has tangible consequences:


  • Burnout: When you’re pushing toward goals that don’t actually energize you, it’s only a matter of time before exhaustion sets in. According to research from the Mayo Clinic, 40% of professionals report feeling burned out when their work or goals don’t align with their core values or passions. This disconnection often leads to physical and mental exhaustion.


  • Resentment: You might start feeling frustrated with yourself or others for feeling stuck in a life where you’re constantly giving but feeling a lack of acknowledgement or appreciation.


  • Stalled Growth: Without understanding what you truly want, it becomes almost impossible to move forward in a meaningful way. In a survey of high achievers, 75% reported that despite their external success, they often feel disconnected from their own desires, contributing to feelings of unfulfillment and lack of direction.


The tricky part? From the outside, everything might look fine—successful even—but internally, it can feel like you’re just going through the motions.



How I Help You Find Clarity and Realign Your Life


Coaching isn’t about telling you what to do; it’s about pulling the answers from within. My role is to guide you in uncovering what matters most and mapping out the route to a life that feels good. Here’s how:


  • Uncover What’s Really Driving You: Together, we’ll dig into your core values, uncover your hidden needs and desires, pinpointing what truly matters to you. This step is about peeling back the layers to get to the heart of you.


  • Identify Patterns Holding You Back: We’ll explore the beliefs and habits that might be steering you away from your true path. Often, these patterns are rooted in a need for safety, certainty, or approval, and I’ll guide you in breaking free from them.


  • Set Aligned Goals: Once you’re clear on your values and desires, we’ll work together to create goals that feel energizing and purposeful—ones that make you excited to wake up in the morning. Studies show that individuals who set goals aligned with their values and passions are 50% more likely to feel energized and motivated to pursue those goals, making success feel much more fulfilling and rewarding.


  • Learn to Trust Yourself: Clarity is an ongoing journey, not a one-time event. I’ll help you build confidence in your decision-making so you can continue living in alignment long after our work together.


Practical Steps You Can Take Today


If this is resonating with you, here are a few exercises to start finding clarity:


  • Ask Yourself Reflective Questions:

    • What’s one thing I’m pursuing right now, and why?

    • Does this goal feel exciting, or does it feel like an obligation?

    • If no one else’s opinion mattered, what would I want?


  • Pay Attention to Patterns: Look for moments of frustration, resentment, or emptiness. These emotions are often clues that you’re misaligned with your values.


  • Take a Values Inventory: Write down your top 10 values and evaluate how your current goals and lifestyle align with them. Are there areas where you’re out of sync?

  • The Clarity Compass: A simple 3 step tool to guide you back to your true north.


  1. Reflect: Identify where you feel misaligned (work, family, personal goals).

  2. Reassess: What core values are not being honoured in these areas?

  3. Realign: Set one small goal each week that directly reflects your values.


Why Clarity Changes Everything


When you start living in alignment with your true self, everything shifts. Decisions become easier, your energy increases, and fulfillment feels natural—not like an unattainable dream. If you’re tired of feeling stuck and ready to live a life that actually feels good, let’s talk. Coaching is about helping you uncover your truth and build the life you want from the inside out.


Kirstin Turner

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